Frisky Ways to Leave Your Lover
Proving how risky it is to listen to music with a one-track mind!
I still love this song: [Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover]
The day I heard it played in an ‘oldies slot’ on the radio I couldn’t get it out of my head … and my wicked imagination cranked up CW : Adult language ahoy ~ reader beware
Deep apologies to Paul Simon and his fans — I’ve likely ruined this for you!
“I have a problem with your innocence,” she said
The answer is to stop dwelling in your head,
I’d like to help you and I’m sure we can get wild
There’s more than fifty ways to love a lover.”
She whispered, “It’s not my intention to intrude
And I’ll guide you if my motivation won’t be misconstrued
Now I’ll repeat myself at the risk of being crude
There’s more than fifty ways to love a lover,
Frisky ways to love a lover.
[Chorus]
Take a stab with your cock, Jock
Press her ass to the wall, Paul,
Don’t forget the lube, dude
Just get yourself wet.
Gentle rubs on her bean, Dean
And you’ll find she’s more keen.
Lap her like dew, Lou
And get your rocks off.
Spaff your load on her face, Ace
Eat her peach for a day, Jay
There’s no need to be coy, Roy
You just listen to me.
Rub her chin with your plums, chum
Take a stab with your cock, Jock
Widen her stance, Vance
And get yourself laid.
She said, “I’ll show you how close pleasure is to pain.”
I said, “I am up for that, and would you please explain,
If there’s some kinky shit so you come like a train,
Among the fifty ways?”
She said, “Why don’t we both just strip off, skin to skin?”
She admired my body and I felt the good shape she was in,
And then she grabbed my cock, which had grown harder with the urge
To learn all fifty ways to love a lover,
Frisky ways to love a lover.
Repeat chorus …
I don’t pretend to be a poet, but I am impressed by the poetry in song lyrics and frequently inspired by the words in songs. This originally appeared on Medium: Short & Weird
Hahaha. Love it!