Who, What, and Why According to the Owls

How did owls earn the reputation for being wise?

Posy Churchgate

Jun 04, 2025

Three Tawny Owls sitting in the branches of a tree - by the Other Kev: Pixabay

“What’s ‘e doing?”

“Who.”

“‘‘Im over there, wiv the sled.”

“I think you’ll find it’s a toboggan,” said Barnaby, the smartest of the owl trio.

“Who.”

“Not who, Timothy, what.” Barnaby corrected. “While both are vehicles designed for travel or the transport of goods over snowy terrain, sleds and sleighs utilise curved rails or skis that glide over the snow in conditions where wheels would get stuck. A toboggan slides on its smooth underside.”

Barnaby blinked his huge dark eyes knowledgeably. Owls think a lot.

Timothy appeared to have dozed off during his brother’s long-winded explanation.

“E’s takin’ somfink into the barn.”

“Who.”

“The big fella, the one what chops wood and drives the noisy truck.”

“The farmer,” Barnaby asserted.

“Who.”

“Surely you’ve seen him, Timothy,” Barnaby answered his youngest brother. “He feeds the chickens and goats. He milks the cows, and takes the eggs and milk to market in his truck.”

“An’ sometimes ‘e rides Gulliver.”

“Who.”

“Gulliver, the gelding that grazes in the paddock.” Barnaby swivelled his head to glare at Timothy in exasperation.

But the smallest owl had, again, closed his eyes, impervious to his brother’s ire.

Artemis, always the most curious, shuffled along the bough to get a better view. He wrapped his talons around the branch, as he watched the farmer’s activities with laser-beam focus.

“But what’s ‘e up to?” He couldn’t let it drop.

“How should I know?” Barnaby gave a shudder then fluffed his feathers; apparently, he was uncomfortable admitting to any gaps in his knowledge.

“It’s a tree ‘e’s cut down, innit?” Artemis concluded.

Artemis and Barnaby craned their necks to get a better view, causing their salt and pepper feathers to ruffle.

“Who.” Timothy responded.

“I do wish he’d say something other than that.” Barnaby clicked his beak with irritation.

“‘E’s only a baby, get off ‘is back. ‘E’ll talk when he’s ready.”

Timothy swivelled his head nearly one hundred and eighty degrees to look at Artemis, then winked.

I used a few writers’ tricks in this story:

I didn’t name of one of the owls until halfway through. Rather he was identifiable by his specific way of speaking (Cockney, like Jason Statham). To ‘flesh’ Barnaby out further, try to imagine his dialogue spoken by Stephen Fry (a proper boffin with a plummy accent).

No preamble. I started my story with action — something for the readers to sink their teeth into. A vehicle to keep them reading— I needed everyone to be as curious as Artemis.

Timothy a.k.a. tiny Tim, only ever says “who”. At first, this fitted with the dialogue … then it didn’t. It was finally revealed that all he can do is make the noise commonly associated with owls.

This nonsense was inspired by Kev’s image, which reminded me of Owl Babies, a bedtime story I used to read to my kids.